Why I'm Changing My Relationship With Alcohol + Thoughts On Quit Like A Woman

We're back baby! And today's episode is a solo chat about alcohol. Aka how I'm feeling after a pandemic about the occasional glass of wine and why it's time I change my relationship with it. We're also diving into my thoughts on Quit Like A Woman. If you haven't read it, I'd highly recommend checking it out.

Can't wait to hear what you babes think!

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Buy Quit Like A Woman here. 

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Transcript

Hello friends. Welcome back to another episode of the What Savvy Said Podcast. I am Savannah, AKA the savvy behind what savvy said, and it has been a hot minute since I've sat down and done this with you guys. I'm so excited for episodes to be back. I'm so excited for some of the conversations that are coming up.

Some of the conversations we've planned just to have this space to explore and learn together. Today's episode. I thought we'd start back with a personal one. I really just wanted to have this conversation because I feel like I've seen more conversations recently in my personal life about alcohol and the relationship that those of us have with alcohol.

And I know for a lot of people going through the pandemic and coming out of the pandemic everyone's relationship kind of changed with that. I know a lot of people are kind of examining habits right now and looking at just. The good and the bad that we've taken out of last year. It's definitely something that I've gone through.

There's a lot of little things that I've been shedding getting rid of kind of growing into this next season. But I know that just taking a second to check in with my relationship with alcohol and how I feel about it. That I kind of adjusted to it over the last year is something I wanted to talk about, because I think that when you hear it, it puts perspective for yourself.

So I am going to dig all into that with you. We're going to really kind of talk about how I feel like that's transformed for me. Where I'm at with that? Am I drinking? Am I not drinking my thoughts about alcohol having just kind of an open dialogue about it. So I love to hear your thoughts. I can't wait for you to dig into that, but first, before we get into the episode, we are starting with gratitude.

I really. Love this habit. It's been such a game changer for me over the last few years. And even on the days when I'm feeling frustrated. So this morning was one of those days where I feel like the last couple of times I've left the house. It's just been a little bit chaotic. I got stuck on the bridge the other night for like an hour and a half.

If you've ever visited Panama city you'll know that like sometimes we have traffic. It's definitely, we're going into 4th of July weekend when I'm recording this intro. And it's not the craziest thing to have traffic, but guys, it was like traffic for no traffic reason. And I just, I had this moment where I thought it's about to pour and I'm sitting on top of this bridge and if it starts lightening and thundering, like this just doesn't feel like the best life option for me.

But it's been like those where you're just like, what in the actual heck and Bob is happening right now. The last couple of times I've left the house. And this morning I had a few of those in a row and I just came out of this space and it was really hard for me to check my energy as I was going through them.

But I got back in the car. I was on my way home and I just started thinking, okay, like, I don't want to sit and dwell on this space. And I know that sometimes to get it out, you know, sometimes you want to like call a friend and vent about it, but I don't want to say in that space, I like to acknowledge it.

I feel really frustrated, but I think for me, what ends up happening is when I'm in those moments of frustration or overwhelming or venting as I just round my body up even more and I'm like more addicted and triggered to that emotion. So I thought, all right, I have given myself. Two minutes to deal with this.

I've given myself the two minutes feel free. I heard about it. It's not serving me anymore. And now I need it to at least kick something out of this space and get me back into the routine of feeling in a better space or claiming some gratitude and joy for myself. So. That is what I did. And I put on an audio book.

So the first thing that I'm big before this week is audible a hundred percent not sponsored. If they want to sponsor the podcast, come on down. We'd love to be friends with you, but I love reading, but I'm definitely one of those people. I will snatch out some books, but if I'm like sitting there with a book, just kind of in the zone reading, I know that that's my way of being in a mental reset time.

I was talking about this with a friend the other night, but for the last few years, like clockwork, for the most part come August, September, I would be so mentally drained from the way that I. Book myself solid for a few months, that to recalibrate my energy as an empath, I would just have to dive into books if there's stuff that I'm not dealing with at their stuff that like, I need to figure out.

Typically I find myself in a hole, reading a bunch. I don't feel like I'm really motivated to do other stuff. There's just. It's like my way of getting quiet and kind of listening from there, because if I'm watching TV, if I'm doing something else, I've always got like a phone or something else happening with books, I tend to get lost.

And I just pick up on things between. With audible, that's kind of my way of utilizing reading at a normal pace and getting through things and still being able to be productive, being actually fully focused on things. Books like quit like a woman, which we're talking about today. I've progressively gone through the last few months as I've gotten my nails done and I've just been sitting there for, you know, however long and they've got the drill going and I can't really do much.

Necessarily feel like chatting a ton. Sometimes I'll talk, but it's not like the space where I just want to chat it up. So audible is major for helping me just escape whether or not it's marinas, a Pata, which is one of my favorite authors. And I have listened and read her books so many times, or it's maybe something that.

Digging into for my own personal growth, like healing is new hire quit like a woman. So audible is absolutely number one. Number two is the weather that we're having. I have mixed feelings about it, but at the same time, I'm thankful that we have rain. I feel like that's something that you can. I appreciate when it's here and then appreciate when it's gone.

So I'm luckily escaping this week. Distance. I'd try it, but I know that we need the rain. I know that it's keeping it colder. It's definitely made things more challenging as far as getting things done and shooting content and working out recently. But again, I'm just grateful that, you know, we have rain that the plants are getting water.

It's like something that I get to experience. And the third thing I am thankful for my new shoes. I am a shoe person. That is my thing. I am sure that if you are somebody who grew up, maybe on the courier side or who lived in a diet lifestyle, you might have that same appreciation because you could always buy shoes.

Like if even if clothes didn't work for you, you could buy shoes. And even still, like, there are so many more clothing options available today, but. I definitely find it very challenging to find things if it, me on the first go without involving a tailor. So shoes are a lifestyle choice for me. And I bought myself two new pairs for my birthday.

And if you follow me on Instagram, you will have seen them. They should be saved in the June, highlights on my stories, but I bought two new pairs of heels from Schultz. And I think I'm saying that right. I might be saying that wrong, but there's a pair of mules and there's a pair of. Kind of clear top TEALS and yeah, I am just so thankful to have really cute shoes and the ability to wear really cute shoes.

Because when I worked in film, I lived in tennis shoes all the time, which is probably why I'm even more of a keel person. Now, the idea that I'm going to go somewhere and I'm not going to have cute shoes on, does not seem like an option to me. I spent too many years living and like, Not dressing myself in a way that felt good for me.

I can't do that anymore. Like it has to happen. We are going all out or we are staying at home. I guess we have so much to dig into. So I'm so excited for you guys to listen to today's episode. If you want to come talk about it, come find me on Instagram at WhatsApp. He said, After the episode, I love to hear what you guys are thinking and how things are challenging you and just the space that you're creating.

If we get to a place where you guys want to extend the conversation more, maybe we'll make a Facebook group for it. I haven't really done that. We might have one on, I honestly don't remember, but definitely come hang on, hang out on Instagram because we do giveaways. There's always fun stuff going on.

It's just kind of your daily motivation as well as YouTube. I am relaunching. This should all be relaunching this week and adding more meditations and blogs and just creating a space where if you feel like you need to hang out with somebody, who's got some good energy. You're just in a space where you're like, you know what?

I really need some help, but I don't know what I need help with. And I feel like the energy around me is not the vibe that I want. Come hang out on Instagram. You too, with us. We would love to be friends with you. I love making more friends online and yeah, I turned 31 tomorrow when this episode goes live.

So. It's a big week. We're launching a lot of things. A lot of things are happening on I'm really excited. So I hope you guys enjoy today's episode. I love you. And it's going to be a one. All right. Good. So I asked you recently on Instagram, if you wanted to sit down and hear an episode of me chatting about my relationship with alcohol and how I'm changing it.

And my thoughts after reading like a Walmart, because I mentioned in my Instagram posts that I didn't think that I was going to be fully quitting drinking, and I want to explain all of that. I kind of want to dive into the entirety of it, but I think we have to do a little backtracking first and. Certs with just how I was raised to be around alcohol.

And I think my parents were really great more specifically. My mother was really great at not making it. One of those things where you feel like it's got this obscene power. It was always, if you want to have a drink, try it at the house. You know, there was never any kind of crazy. You know, this is untouchable, like want to press the red buy in kind of thing.

And I also grew up with this idea that my father potentially had an alcohol issue. Now it wasn't until I was a lot older that I realized that there were more mental health issues involved because that conversation yeah. Wasn't as prevalent when I was a kid, but I remember vividly going through the drive-through with him and buying alcohol at least one time when I was a kid.

And just feeling like that, that was a potential issue that might be there and might be possible. It might be something that could affect me. So I was never really actively seeking out a need to drink. Do partying in high school. I wasn't somebody who was like, let's go drink a ton in college. I solidified my grandma's status or real early I was in bed or with my books sleeping quite content.

I was not a big drinker. Like it just didn't. Go with something I felt like I needed to do. And I wasn't like actively trying to get drunk. I never wanted to drink to get drunk. I always wanted to maintain control because at that time, and even still, you know, I've been single for a really long time, this whole blog post on that.

And I honestly just didn't trust anybody else to get me home. Like I wanted to make sure that I was always keeping. Of getting myself home and safe and doing all of that. Like, I was the DD for my 21st birthday. I had a very dissonant, like I wasn't wanting to drink to escape my life kind of thing. And then of course film happens.

And a lot of people in film drink, that's a coping mechanism for a lot of people in film and you go to parties and you go to brat parties and you go out or whatever, and you have these drinks and that would be fine. I think I would have a little bit more to drink if I was at a wrap party because I wasn't paying for it.

Even then it was still a budget thing for me. Like I had absolutely no desire to sit home and drink. I might occasionally, if I was. Kind of close to my period or on my period, I might be craving some red wine because I was craving. And I wasn't eating anything in the like animal dietary range at the time.

So that was a part of my journey. I think I drank more when I was in film and socially. And then when I moved back home a few years ago, I think I would drink more socially, but I was never a big drinker at home that just wasn't me. Like, I felt like that wasn't something that I really wanted to do one because I am somebody who enjoys food.

So I've never been like, I want to drink my calories. That's just not something I want to have to deal with because I noticed over time, you know, if I was drinking, I would want more. And there are a few times where I've had, I don't, I wouldn't say that I was hung over. I would say that. And that's my personal opinion.

My body does not tolerate sugar very well. If you guys follow along with my other content, you might know that anything that metabolizes primarily is sugar is something that my body really, really struggles with. So I'm for more, I'm far more likely to have just a complete and total energy drain. Simply from the blood sugar rising and dropping.

And that has happened a couple of times where I just feel completely wiped, completely drained. Like my guts completely destroyed from drinking even more so as I kind of stripped back my diet and really got healthier and. I wasn't really drinking at home. Like I would drink out socially and that was perfectly fine for me.

And then I had a point where I felt like in an effort to really feel successful or to be in a space of. Being the person that like I admired and be creating this person. I needed a drink now, did I actually need to drink? No, there are plenty of people who don't drink, but it just felt like that was a part of the air of the person I needed to create.

And so I kept like actively seeking kind of how to do that. And I feel like I did it a little bit. Last year, I went through a period where I was trying to figure out how to do that, but I was also in my mind negotiating the fact that, okay, if you're drinking, then you need to be mindful about what you're eating because.

I didn't want to gain a ton of weight simply because I started trying to figure out a way to add alcohol into my system. And by default of that, I ended up not eating as much as I should. At the time I ended up taking, I want to say a hormone test. I might've done an update, a women's health panel or something else.

But when I was doing that, I realized that what my hormones were telling me was that I was probably not eating enough at the time. And again, this wouldn't be COVID mid stress. I was working out. And the Columbo wasn't great for my body. And I progress there and I was trying to explore different affiliate links and things that I could post for work.

And I got to a point where I was like, I'm not happy with this. Like, I'm not. I don't mind drinking occasionally, but I'm also not a big dessert person. I will have the occasional cookie, the occasional talk, like little bits like that, but I'm not somebody who like has to have a dessert at a restaurant.

Like I don't have to have a drink. I would rather eat a really good meal and feel really nourished and feel really centered. And so I just was, I think 2020 for me was a lot of trying on all of these different things, filling the time, exploring and figuring out what works and what doesn't work for me.

And so many of the things that I tried have really gotten me back to this place that I'm just like, no, that doesn't align with me. That doesn't work for me. And drinking was one of those things in that capacity. A most alcoholic beverages are a bit more sugar lace. And so they ended up just really impacting my joints.

I feel them either that night or the next day always I can feel it. My body is incredibly sensitive to that kind of stuff. And so then I started trying alternative things, you know, the other ones that are out there and you see quite regularly on the market. And I would try that and I just. Yeah, without the sugar, it doesn't taste as good.

Like, I'll be completely honest. Um, and it wasn't anything I was opposed to having. Occasionally I feel like that's a great option for showers and stuff like that. And we're going to talk to like what my next steps are with alcohol in a second, but. I just felt like trying to fit alcohol into my life was like trying to make a toxic relationship work.

Like it just didn't need to be there. And I don't know that it's necessarily fully toxic. There's a time and a place for when I might enjoy a drink. Um, but there's definitely a time and a place where drinking does not serve me. And hasn't really aligned for me. We recently went jet skiing. If you follow me on Instagram, you would have seen my reel and I did not grow up doing stuff.

That wasn't like part of my journey as a child, both my parents were ER, nurses at Grady at one point, which is one of the bigger hospitals in Atlanta that takes a lot of the like traumatic cases. So there are a lot of things that I didn't do as a kid by default. And I don't really remember jetski. When I was younger, I, one of the things that 2020 did for me was really stripped back the adrenaline anxiety that had become my base level, because I was just kind of trapped in a box.

I had no escape. There was nothing I could do. And it finally just drained. All of me. And so now I'm very sensitive to it. And I can just tell that when I've been super spiked on anxiety, it was just what the jet ski ride for me was. I felt very out of control, just like I didn't have control of what was going on.

Just not necessarily safe and secure. I also don't like the pressure of keeping up with people. I'm very much a like do it at my own pace on my own time. I have no desire to compete with others. I'm good. You can do what you want. Yeah. And so I came out of that and we went to dinner and I had a drink that night and it was really hard to tell the next day.

I don't know that it necessarily helped me, but I was so drained on Saturday night. Like, so just completely, mentally and physically drained from the anxiety of it all on a little bit of luck. Plus some sugar. And so that was one of the things that I started noticing is that with alcohol specifically, one, I was trying to make things fit that didn't necessarily need to fit for me.

Like it wasn't serving me. It wasn't necessarily a coping mechanism for me. There was an extended amount of time where I wasn't sleeping. And I'm sure that that can be attributed to several things. I also think that my anxiety was there, but I also think that a lot of things were making my anxiety worse.

And alcohol is one of those things that can make your anxiety worse. And so I just kept feeling like I was trying to make something work that I didn't need to make work, but I also having a history of. Diet cycling and diet lifestyle and all that jazz. I coming off of kind of a diet relapse last year. I didn't want to put it in the category of, this is something that you can't have, and it becomes really powerful and you're suddenly like, All you want to do is drink because that's not me.

That's not who I am. So I had to kind of give myself the space to shift it back to. Okay. How do I really feel about alcohol and how does it actually work for my body? Like, if I'm being honest, if I'm not sitting here and pulling everybody else's agenda to the table on how you should deal with alcohol and what you should do and how often you should drink.

And like having an honest, like step back. One looking at it from a society point was definitely different. And I'll talk a little bit about that with like a woman, because that is part of today's conversation. Um, but two, I just looked at how I actually felt with things and the things that I really noticed.

So one of the things I noticed was if I drank something, like if I had a glass of wine, for example, we went to wine. Recently after we did the soundbath ceremony and we went to wine bar and I ended up with like a glass of rosacea and I think I got some bread and occasionally I will eat gluten, but I don't feel good about it.

And it's one of those things where I was like, why am I in the habit of doing these things? But specifically this combo metabolize. Heavily sugar for me. And what I find is that when I eat something like that before bed, that about two or 3:00 AM is when my body finally runs through the sugar, like six hours later.

And I wake up anxious as hell. Like it's not comfortable. I don't feel good. I don't get restful sleep. Hmm. That was definitely one of the things that I took a stand back and realized how it was affecting me too. Just looking at my, what anxiety actually looks like for me. I feel like anxiety shows up differently for everybody.

And for me, it can be just consistent racing, thoughts and feeling like I'm suddenly just worrying like that part of anxiety in a way. It's completely unproductive and spirals out my day. And I can feel a little bit more anxious energy with coffee, but with alcohol and regular consumption of the more sugary kind, I would see that.

And so it became a conversation of why am I doing this? How is it actually changing my life? And is it adding, adding anything into my bubble and. No. Like, I can't think of anything that alcohol is doing to benefit me, to make me feel better about life. And that became okay, well then maybe I shouldn't drink.

Like maybe it's not so much about, I am sober. I am whatever I am not drinking. It's that? I am going to make it a habit of a ordering sparkling water when I go out versus a drink, because maybe that's become a habit for myself. And I just don't think about it. Like if I want something fun when I'm socially out with other people until I get more secure net.

Cause I'm very good at being one of those people who will be at the table and order weird shit and not have the same diet as anybody else. But I feel like the last year has made me question myself. And so while I'm in the process of just getting back to that place where I just don't give a fuck what everybody else cares about, I need to take little steps.

So that was one of the things for me. And to just also give myself permission, if I really, really wanted something and chances are most of the time, I don't like if I'm acknowledging my center, if I'm meditating, if I'm taking the time to say, how does this heal me? How does this serve me? How does this actually honor me?

A lot of the times I'm like it doesn't and I don't actually want it. And that's it like, that's my voice. Now hearing that voice is a little bit easier to do when you're pulling back the reins and you're spending time with people who maybe aren't alcoholics or aren't drinking all the time. I've always subconsciously been somebody who.

When I think about saying, oh, you know, like I need a drink or any, whatever. Like I don't ever actually want to need it. I know that there's a tendency to have an addictive personality situation. For me, and I don't want to be somebody who's ever consistently relying on anything. It's why I'm really mindful of my habits.

I don't ever want to be so stuck on something that I can't function without it. It's why I'm very resistant to keeping the same routine for forever. And I like change because of that, because I don't want to say stuck. I don't want to say. So involved in a space that I'm not growing and serving myself, but I'm also, you know, not flexible and able, able to live my life.

Like, I don't want to feel like I'm going down a path and suddenly a roadblock comes in and just everything crumbles because I can't adapt. So I like to have multiple coping mechanisms. That's why I like to have multiple workouts that I do. It's also why I like to have things that I'm not dependent on are something that I'm okay with saying no, I'm okay with not having that for an extended amount of time.

It's why I like fasting occasionally. It's why I enjoy not having coffee. Sometimes. It's why I have like a whole series of blog posts, where for, you know, six months, every month we did a fasting thing because it's important to me to know that I can always remove something from my life that it's not. An insane amount of power.

So alcohol was definitely one of those things for me now doesn't mean I will never drink no. Um, I think if I'm somewhere and I'm like, you know, I really would like to have a glass of Prosecco. Like there's a very limited thing of things that I would like to have. Yes. I'm down for that. It changes the questions that I asked myself before I choose to do that one, have I had enough water because this is going to make me dehydrated too.

Do I need to do stuff after this? Because a lot of times, if I'm going out socially and drinking somewhere, I'm going to end up with sugary things that may not make me feel my best after, and then I might not be productive for the rest of the day. I also, yeah, I don't, I don't know that it's worth it to just drink really crappy stuff.

I'm at that age now where like, if I have something. I would totally be down to go to a winery and have the experience and do light tips. Like I'm not going to, I don't want to get drunk, but like have that experience of that moment, but like drinking, just to drink all the time for the sake of it. It doesn't serve me.

It doesn't feel like I'm in that right space for it. But I think it's important to acknowledge if you're in a space right now where maybe you're starting to realize that your relationship with alcohol isn't that great, that you are able to see it as this is your relationship with alcohol. And everybody comes at it from a different area.

I have quite a few friends who have gone through this journey and they've gotten to a point in their relationship with alcohol, where they've realized that they don't have the right coping mechanisms, or maybe they have a history with eating disorders. And, you know, it's that idea that you're looking for control.

You're looking to numb, you've got all of these other things and it's not just the alcohol, that's a problem that there are other things going on and. Getting to that space and like unraveling, that takes some time. And so, as I was reading quite like a woman, which I initially picked up because Jen, I can, and Chrissy Tiegen talked about it.

I wasn't quite sure what I was going to get from this book. I really wanted to read it from the perspective of just being open and learning. And that's definitely something I'm trying to do more. Self-help or with anything is silly. Take it in smaller chunks. And to really check in with myself as to where I feel like things aligned for me, where I feel like things don't align, how am I seeing stuff?

And as I was reading it, the initial picture, she paints is kind of how we got to a place where alcohol is this thing. And it kind of falls historically under the same lines as how cigarettes became this thing, because you look. How often people drink, I've been watching the bull type a lot recently, and you look at just this millennial picture of everyone drinking all the time.

And most of us know. You're going to gain weight like that doesn't happen. Nobody drinks that much all of the time. And doesn't have some other kind of thing that they need to keep in check. But two, it just doesn't. I can't imagine that that doesn't start impacting your health, but I do know for some people, you know, they haven't quite gotten to that place yet where they've stepped back enough to see how it is impacting their overall health.

But historically, yeah. It was definitely a movie theater. Like it was a way for films and television and other things to have advertising money because the alcohol industry needed a way to get itself built up and like becoming this picture. Perfect idea. And that was one of the ways that it built up. So yeah, we had cigarettes in the war and we have alcohol via film.

And so it's more common to see that. As I kind of clicked that in and watch things. It's definitely changed my perspective even more so as I've gotten older and I've really taken a step back content-wise and looked at what we consume and how we can see. And knowing what that particular industry looks like from a different perspective of having worked in, and also having, you know, a good majority of friends who work in it, you know, it's all about advertising.

It's all about product placement. I think we see that a little bit more with influencers and affiliate links and all of that. There's a relationship with alcohol that we don't talk about because it's not appealing to the bottom line. And I think that's something that we have to acknowledge is that there are plenty of people out there who will drink.

And I can't say that I'm never going to create a sponsor post with a brand that creates an alcoholic beverage that I feel like is great. Um, you know, there are plenty of people who create ones that don't have sugar, and I can see how the occasional beverage. Would work for me. I don't ever want to put a never sign on my forehead because you never know.

That exists, that relationship does exist. And so I think it's important that we acknowledge that and that it's not so much that we're looking out and seeing all these people who can drink and that there's something wrong with us. It's that we've established this relationship with alcohol as a success level.

And now it's our job to figure out, okay, well, maybe that works then maybe they haven't figured out, you know, Alcohol doesn't serve their body. Maybe that's a part of their journey, or maybe they really do enjoy it. And they found a way to do with that. That's fine. That has nothing to do with you, but understanding that there's a historical back to it, I think really helps set a little bit of perspective because some of these conversations are already there and they're just so ingrained.

Sometimes we forget to question their existence. Now, the next takeaway I would give you from like a woman is to practice grace and Holly talks. This, I mean a lot about this throughout her journey, but just how long it took for her to actually quit and to get to that space and what that looks like for her.

And we talk about this on other episodes of the podcast. I feel like I talk about that. And a lot of content, but I think one of the things we have to realize, especially as we're bringing, taking down these habits and these things that we've just done is that it's like peeling back an onion. And every time we pull back a layer, we're going to discover something more about why we've done this and how we've done this and how long it's happening for us and what it means that this is a habit in our life.

And. Giving ourselves the space to heal with that. But to just know that it's okay. If it takes time for us to get there, that we don't have to be able to perfectly quit alcohol overnight, that it might take some time for us to really see those shifts and perspectives. But to also. And in the people in our lives that make us feel comfortable not drinking.

And along with that, one of the things that Holly talks about in the book that I think is really important is how AA didn't work for her, how AA was designed for white men. And I think we understand that even more as females and people of color and black men and women. And I think it's important that we acknowledge how systems were created and why they were created and how they may or may not have been updated.

And. I think it's important to also acknowledge that if a system doesn't work for you and maybe it's not your fault, maybe there's something about that system that just doesn't work for you. That doesn't acknowledge your needs or your wants. If a workout didn't work for you, like you hated it. You would not beat yourself up over the fact that it didn't work for you.

You would seek out another option. So if AA is a part of your journey, that's great, but it might also not be the thing that works for you. And so that's perfectly fine. If a system doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. Now, one of the things that I've recently been chatting about with a friend is watching someone that she loves go through a time where she's really redefining her relationship with alcohol and.

Again, there's so much to unpack in that, but I think in that perspective for her right now, it feels like not drinking mean she's losing so many things. And Holly talks about it in her book, the friends who were pretty much like if you're not drinking, you can't come to Italy with us. For some people, drinking is a really powerful thing and they're going to project back their own fears and insecurities on Tio.

I saw that a lot when I was plant-based. Yeah. I think that sometimes people just feel as though there's something wrong with them. It's an insecurity within them. Or maybe it's something they're already questioning within themselves. And so they automatically project that back as you seeing something wrong with them, rather than just creating space for your own healing, me being plant-based and not wanting to eat something, because it just didn't agree with my body at the time, had nothing to do with what you were eating.

So you're not choosing to drink, has nothing to do with somebody across the table from you. There's something wrong with that. There's potential that you are going to lose people that people are no longer going to feel like they are a part of your circle because the activities that you have in common.

Yeah, aren't the same anymore because you're not going out to bars and partying and drinking all the time. But I think the important thing to focus on there is to focus on the things that you're adding into your life. Think about all the things that you've always wanted to do. Maybe you felt like you haven't had money to do, but you know, once you stop drinking as much, it becomes a game changer because you're not spending all of that money on it.

And that's definitely one of the positives of it, but you also just open yourself to do new things and to have time to do new things. I think with anything, whenever you're removing something from your life, it's really easy to focus on the loss of it, rather than focus on the potential of everything that you're going to add.

And knowing that you're doing something that's going to serve you in the long run, but that's all. Really healing for you. And you can sit in that space with it, if you can sit in the joy of it and just how you know you're going to feel. When you come out on the other side of it, it will be so much easier for you to stick with the bath.

Now, the most important part, I feel like of anyone's journey when they're removing something, when they're releasing something, whether or not it's a habit, it's a friend. It's a full-on relationship, job situation, whatever is that we create the space for our healing. And that looks different for everybody.

I recently listened to an episode of  podcast with a guy whose name I can't think of right now, but he's a Navy seal and I bought his audio book and I will link it down in the description box for this episode or the show notes too. But he talks about how Navy seals kind of approach. Feelings and emotions and creating space for stuff and how they will have like a two minute window.

And they will give themselves that time to sit and whatever joy, whatever frustration, whatever they need to. And I think learning to balance that with also learning to balance, creating your space for healing is so important with actually being able to move forward personally. I've found that like just sitting and stuff feels like it makes me more frustrated because then I feel like I'm not getting anything done.

I'm not actually accomplishing anything. I'm not moving forward. I personally like to create pockets that allow for that healing that are a bit more organic to my day. And my workout as a huge part of that. And that's something that's worked for me because it's something I know that I can give myself daily.

It's how I start my day. It's also something where I know that I can actually push through whatever emotions I'm feeling at a time. So if I'm feeling frustrated, instead of holding onto that really annoying energy of feeling frustrated, I have a workout that is quite long and it's designed to be quite long because of this reason, but that I can have a few minutes where I'm literally, maybe I'm in between sets and the movement has suddenly released that from my body.

And I realize how frustrated I am and I can take a few seconds to breathe and I can keep going and I can keep pushing and I can literally release the endorphins and everything else that I need to do to push through that emotion. But that is my time that is designed. To allow for that healing. Like it's yes.

It's a part of my day that does a lot of other things. It's a part of my job to some degree, it's a part of, you know, my overall mental health, but it's also a portion of my day that allows me to have healing in whatever I'm going through. So defining that space for you. Whether or not that's sitting with a therapist or it's something that is just for you for your time, that makes you also feel kind of accomplished on the other side, it might be cooking.

It might be cleaning. It might be whatever, making sure that you have that space for healing, so that as you're walking through this, it's not so much about the fact that you are really frustrated with your drinking and that you feel like you failed yourself where you feel like. It's that you're also allowing yourself the time to just be in the emotion and push through it and not feel like you're stuck in one space.

I think having a space for it allows you to continue moving forward with your life without feeling like you're putting everything on pause. And the last takeaway. And my tip in that regard is to find new coping mechanisms. And Holly talks a lot about this throughout her journey because she dealt with an eating disorder along.

Everything else in her life. And she really went on a path of finding those new coping mechanisms. I think for a lot of us, when it comes to drinking, if you're somebody who is not necessarily drinking socially, but drinking to numb things or drinking as a means to survive right now, Part of it is that you don't have the coping mechanisms that you think that you do, you haven't gotten to that space where you feel safe enough to process those emotions.

And I want to say, firstly, that that can take some time and it's perfectly okay if you're not there. It took me years to get to a place where I felt like I was safe enough to be in my emotions and just be in them. And that nobody was gonna to. Slap me or give me any like negative feedback for my emotions.

Journaling was huge for me because I started to feel like I could have an opinion and say something. And there was nobody who was going to say anything back. Like it wasn't me talking it out with a friend and them projecting their chef onto it or giving their opinion or not just listening. Like I love my friends, but sometimes that's not what you want in the moment is you literally just need to be able to say something to say something and to have that perspective.

I would encourage you to find a space where you can start to feel safe and feel like you can literally just say what you need to say and it be okay. Now you might get through that and realize, okay, well maybe these aren't the thoughts or the habits or the, whatever that I want to be. You might realize as you start having those conversations with yourself, that you're a bit more negative that you're struggling in areas that you didn't think you were struggling with.

That's perfectly fine. Having a space that you feel safe can help you start to build the foundation to explore other coping mechanisms where you feel like you can work through things and continue to feel safe. And sometimes that might mean talking to them. But I also think we have to be able to sit with ourselves and we have to be able to sit with our thoughts and we have to be able to just let them go on by.

And I love meditation for that. I know that it takes people sometimes a while to come and get to the place where they appreciate meditation like that. I like it because I feel like it trains my brain to help me not react so quickly to things. And I'm really stopping and pausing and yeah. Breathing. Um, if nothing else that's like major, but explore new coping mechanisms, look at maybe this place is.

You would do or don't feel safe and kind of build from there. That's going to be one of the biggest things that you can do, especially if you're really trying to change your relationship with alcohol, because we all need places where we can deal with our shit without numbing our shit. And sometimes it takes us a while to find the ones that make us feel good.

All right, guys, I feel like that was a lot of heaviness at a very short amount of time, but. I did want to go through that because I wanted to have a conversation. I think it's important that we talk about our journey, that I share that with you, that you guys understand that having a relationship with alcohol and defining it for yourself is really important.

And it's been a journey for me. I think everyone's gonna be different, but I encourage you. If that's something you're dealing with, right. I will link some of the resources assemble that I found really useful. Some of the resources that Holly talks about in the book. And I would just encourage you to be open to having those conversations.

And if right now you don't feel like that's something that you can have with people around you. There are plenty of other places that you can start having those conversations. So it's okay. To ask for help to reach out. I promise there are people who want to back you in this part of your journey. And I am absolutely one of them.

So I love you guys. It is a good day to have a good day. If you haven't liked rated reviewed none on the fun things on iTunes with the podcast, go do that. So other people can find us, make sure you share it. If you do tag me on Instagram, let me know I am at what savvy says. I am so excited to continue this journey with you guys to be creating more content for you and just having these intentional conversations.

I hope this episode really served you and I will see you all. And the next one, bye friends.